Monday, June 23, 2008

Not really an explanation

Sometimes, when I write here, I'm able to pretend that no one else is reading this, that I'm just basically doing it for myself, as I've always said. I'm able to do that most of the time. But several things lately have made me question that, and I think I need to step back a little.

I've been doing this for about 13 years, and over the years my postings have become fewer and fewer. That's due to a lot of different reasons -- I'm busier than I used to be, for one thing, and for another, way back when I started, the internet was a lot smaller, and there weren't that many people out there who had access to it, and even fewer people that I actually knew.

I've always been really careful about what I say, careful not to mention names or talk about things that are too personal, either to me or to other people. Sometimes that gets really hard, both hard to do and hard on me emotionally. But there's really no alternative. It puts me in a really awkward position. I know that people have wondered why I'm not writing more, and most of the time it's just that I don't really have much to say (imagine that!) or that I just haven't had time or, if I have had time, I just couldn't get motivated, or had something I would rather do.

Anyway, a few things have happened lately that have made me question what I do here; I don't intend to stop writing altogether but I'm thinking that, at least for awhile, until I figure some things out, what I write here is going to be less personal. I know that's not really much of an explanation, but it's the best I can do.

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9 comments:

Joanna said...

Hey, Willa. 'Hard to believe I've been reading what you've been writing for 13 years. But I have. And, it's been a great 13 years. But, you do what you have to do. Take care of yourself. We'll all still be out here. Hugs...

Joanna.

Anonymous said...

Willa, you have been a wonderful small part of my life for these 13 years and for that I thank you. You absolutely have to do what's best for you. Take care. Valerie

Jennifer Stumpf said...

you said it right, willa. don't i know it, already.

Sabrina said...

Absolutely understood.

Sharon said...

Willa, I started reading your blog before I even hardly knew what blogs were. I've really enjoyed reading about your daily life and I would hate to see you not keep your blog, but I realize you have to do what you have to do.

I really enjoy going back and reading your archives.

Take care, and like an earlier commenter said, we'll still be here.

Judy said...

I've been writing online since 1994 so I understand what you mean... and some weird things happened to me because of it some years ago.

After the weirdness that happened, I became a lot more cautious and less personal in what I post online.

I've been reading you since, gosh,probably 1996 or 1997... so I hope you continue, but if your posts become less personal, that's totally undertstandable as well.

Sylvia said...

Hi, Willa--I've been reading you since the breast cancer scare however many years ago. I'm always happy to see a new post from you, and I'll continue to read. I understand, though, that sometimes you have to make changes. We'll still be thankful for what we can get!

Cathleen said...

Willa, I have been reading you since 1996, hard to believe how the years go! I have enjoyed being this small part of your life and hope you continue in some way but as others have said you do what you need to do for YOU, the rest will follow.
Om Shanti, Cathleen

Liora said...

I completely understand. I discovered you by accident by falling next to your blog in a web ring (remember web rings???). I think it was your sleeping woman design or the one before that. I had to see where this huge flow of people was coming from, and that's how I discovered you.

But the Internet has changed, and the audience has changed. I felt that, too, when I shut down this last time for good. I am sorry. I think I understand what you are feeling. Empty...why...what now...too exposed.