I'm trying hard to be positive about everything, and I mostly am, but today was hard. I went out to my parents' house yesterday for Mother's Day, and while they're doing pretty well, we've started talking about finding a place for them where my dad won't have to worok so hard, and they won't have to be so afraid of falling, and where he doesn't have to worry about getting Mom down the steps and into the car if she needs to go to the doctor.And there is worry for my/our future as well. I was actually laid off from my job in April, it wasn't a choice that I made myself, so I've been having to scramble around and figure things out. I do have a lot of freelance clients and I'm trying/hoping to increase that business enough that I can work from home, and I think I can, but it's scary.
Today was hard, I'm not sure why. Maybe just because it was Monday.
I worked, and I went out for awhile and got a few groceries, then came home and sat out in the backyard with a book and a pre-made Margarita. Our neighbors were sitting out in their yard, too, listening to the baseball game. I couldn't see them through the fence, but could hear the radio, and it was really nice. I'm a little embarrassed about the state of the yard, but oh well. I bought a lot of flowers and planted them in pots, and that will do for this year. I'm not much of a gardener, but I thought since I'm home this Spring, I wanted flowers. And now I'm crying again, and I don't know why. Just stress, I guess. Just Monday.
Dear Willa -
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. I'm so sorry to hear that you were laid off - I think you were at this job for a very long time, and you seemed to like it, especially your co-workers. I have been laid off in the past and it's devastating and shattering, and makes one feel completely unmoored.
I know it's early days yet and you're still in shock, likely, but I hope in your best moments you might see this as the universe trying to nudge you into finding a whole new way of life and work. I hope that won;t sound trite and like the same thing you will hear over and over. It really can be true and a worthwhile thought to carry.
For what it's worth, everyone around me, myself included, seems to be going through a difficult time right now and in these last weeks and days. I myself had a bit of an emotional crisis very recently - a good cry for no real reason. So I hope you won't feel too alone in your time of crisis.
I'm a bit low today still but your flowers made me smile, and what you shared brought me comfort just in the sharing of it.
Willa - sending courage and comfort across the miles.
Sabrina
Sabrina -- I really appreciate that. Some days are better than others. I was really doing pretty well, it was only the last couple of days that were hard. There's lots of family stuff going on, so that doesn't help. Hope you are feeling better!
ReplyDeleteTake care, Willa
I truly feel your pain, Willa, with my parents now living in Florida, 900 miles away, where we can only afford to be maybe twice a year, if we are lucky and get financial help. The future scares me every day. Hope things look up for you soon! For your sake, I wish I had been able to keep my jewelry site live. And for my sake, too. Sending you a big hug across the miles. And I'm so happy to see your blog posts again. It's always heartening to see a new post up!
ReplyDelete