Wednesday, October 31, 2007

White light

Stress reached critical mass last night, I think. It had been a very stressful day at work, but I've always been able to handle it pretty well. But I don't know what else it could have been. I had meetings, and conference calls, and a really difficult project that I've been trying to get out the door, and everything was okay until about 5:00 which I stopped and realized that I felt AWFUL.

I always hold my stress in my stomach, and when I'm really stressed out it's like I need to stretch it out, like I'm feeling all hunched over. I would have laid on the couch, but there was a guy in the office for an interview, so I didn't think that would look too professional. I actually considered just lying on the floor in my office, but thought no, I'm just going to go home.

So I gathered up my stuff, told anyone who might need me that I'd had enough for the day, and I took off. Driving home, I felt so awful that I thought maybe I had food poisoning or something. I didn't feel nauseated, but my stomach hurt so bad that I couldn't imagine it was just stress.

I got home, crawled into bed, and slept for a couple of hours, felt better, got up, ate some rice, felt bad again, and went back to bed. Bob had been out, and called at about 10:30 and said he was coming home, was going to stop at McDonald's, and did I want anything?

I said no, but he brought me a chicken sandwich anyway (so sweet, isn't he?), and brought it up to me in the bedroom with a few of his fries. I sat up in bed and ate it (and shared it with Pyewacket), and felt quite a bit better, so I got up and got on the computer, and stayed up until about 1:00, then went back up to bed.

This morning I felt fine, just a little stressed out. I'm really not sure what I can do to handle it better. Bob said I need to remember to breathe, and I know that I need to do that. He was also giving me some kind of meditation thing where he said I needed to visualize a white light starting at the top of my head and continuing down through all my body parts, but I think he was just making that up.

I didn't really do much for Halloween except eat a lot of little candy bars. I did remember to put up my witch sign at work about halfway through October, and I went back in the storage room and found my little plastic pumpkin this morning. I also wore glow-in-the-dark skeleton earrings. Bob's working late tonight, and if we do get any trick-or-treaters, I'll be surprised. I'm expecting a quiet night.

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