Monday, June 23, 2008

Not really an explanation

Sometimes, when I write here, I'm able to pretend that no one else is reading this, that I'm just basically doing it for myself, as I've always said. I'm able to do that most of the time. But several things lately have made me question that, and I think I need to step back a little.

I've been doing this for about 13 years, and over the years my postings have become fewer and fewer. That's due to a lot of different reasons -- I'm busier than I used to be, for one thing, and for another, way back when I started, the internet was a lot smaller, and there weren't that many people out there who had access to it, and even fewer people that I actually knew.

I've always been really careful about what I say, careful not to mention names or talk about things that are too personal, either to me or to other people. Sometimes that gets really hard, both hard to do and hard on me emotionally. But there's really no alternative. It puts me in a really awkward position. I know that people have wondered why I'm not writing more, and most of the time it's just that I don't really have much to say (imagine that!) or that I just haven't had time or, if I have had time, I just couldn't get motivated, or had something I would rather do.

Anyway, a few things have happened lately that have made me question what I do here; I don't intend to stop writing altogether but I'm thinking that, at least for awhile, until I figure some things out, what I write here is going to be less personal. I know that's not really much of an explanation, but it's the best I can do.

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