What I've been doing lately

What I've been doing lately:

• Working
• More working
• Going to physical therapy
• Second Life

And that's pretty much it.

Work is moderately insane right now. I can't stand to look at the whiteboard in my office because there are 15 projects on it that I'm in charge of, several of those with multiple items. Work is fine, it's just . . . busy.

My knee -- well, it's better, I think, but definitely not ALL better. But then again, it's not cancer, like my friend Liora is dealing with, so when you look at it that way, it's not bad at all. Like my dad says, "It's not bad, as pain goes."

I've been going to physical therapy twice a week for a month. They do all kinds of things to me there -- biofeedback, muscle stimulation, icing, heat, ultrasound, exercises. I ride the stationary bike, and today I practiced my balance. It's actually fairly enjoyable. I like the people there, and, except for the parts where I'm actually having to exercise, it feels kind of like a spa day. I actually fell asleep this morning while my leg was being iced. Well, you know, a spa day where they sort of torture you a little bit.

After I went on Tuesday, my knee felt pretty good all day. Bob and I went out to eat, and it felt fine, just a little pain (not bad, as pain goes). We got home, I went upstairs, sat down on the edge of the bed and took off my shoes, and when I stood up, had the WORST pain I think I've had so far just SHOOT through my knee. I could barely walk after that, and it hurt all day yesterday even though I wore an elastic brace on it.

I talked to the therapist about it this morning, and he said he thinks it's probably an endurance thing. He says my leg is getting stronger, but I'd probably overdone it, and it just gave out on me. So today after therapy, after my leg warmed up from being in the ice machine, I put the neoprene thing on again, and it's feeling better.

I've been taking some fairly strong anti-inflammatory medication. I'd like to stop taking it, because I know it isn't good for my stomach, but the therapist thinks I should keep taking it for about another month. So I called the drugstore to refill it, knowing I didn't have any more refills left, and they called the doctor, but he wouldn't give me a refill without seeing him. So on top of having two physical therapy appointments next week, I also have a doctor's appointment. Lucky thing my boss is understanding about that stuff. I've been staying most nights until 7:00 or 7:30 to make up for it, though.

Also on Tuesday, the therapist fitted me for orthotics. He says that should help get me back in alignment and fix my knee; they ought to, they're expensive enough! And insurance doesn't cover them. Why would that be?? I guess they'd pay for knee surgery if I ended up needing that. I was telling the PT intern that it's only recently that insurance started paying for mammograms. They would, of course, pay for breast cancer, if you got that. I guess the thinking was that if they paid for mammograms when you didn't really need one, every woman would get one. But the odds of getting breast cancer are pretty small, and even if they had to pay $100,000 or something, they'd probably still be ahead.

Don't get me started on insurance. It's a racket. You have to have it, but when you need it, they think of any way they can to not pay. Grrrr.

By the time I get home at 8:00 or 8:30, I don't want to do much other than sit down in front of the computer and play Second Life. Well, not play -- mostly shop.

I got attacked about three weeks ago. As "attacked" as a little pixel person can be, by another little pixel person. I was in an isolated area and some guy ran up to me and knocked me down and shouted "Take off your clothes!" In retrospect, yeah, it's ridiculous, but at the time it felt threatening, and I couldn't teleport out of there fast enough.

It happened again over the weekend, only this time it was two guys. They crowded me up against a wall and were basically just making fun of me. I should have told them to f*ck off or I would report them, but it made me uncomfortable enough that, again, I ran away.

In talking to a friend about it, he thought maybe it was because I still looked like a newbie. I kind of liked the way I looked, but most of the people who've been around awhile have customized their avatars a great deal; it's pretty obvious who's new and who's not. (He also said if it ever happened again, and he was online, to let him know and he'd come defend my honor, which was sweet.)

So anyway, I gave myself a makeover. I bought a new skin, got new make-up, bought new hair and clothes, and now, even though I keep walking into walls, I don't look like a newbie anymore, even though I really am:

New Harry Potter tomorrow!

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Pink Moon

Further to my last post about happiness, when I think of it, I've been writing down a list of things that make me happy, sort of like a gratitude list (I do that sometimes, too). One of the things on my list should be a husband who knows when I need to get out of town, and makes it happen.

He got Saturday and Sunday off last weekend, so we went down to Bennett Spring State Park on a whim. He had to work until 10:00, so we wouldn't get there until after midnight, and he had to work on Monday, so it would be a short trip. But a short trip is better than no trip.

When I got home Friday night I packed my stuff--Bob had already done his packing that morning before he went to work--and got everything ready to go. He got home around 10:30, packed up the van, and we took off. Remarkably, I stayed awake for most of the trip, falling asleep only toward the end, when Bob woke me up to look at the moon. It was huge, and pink! I don't know why, exactly, but it was definitely beautiful. We got to the park about 1:30 a.m. Everything was quiet and dark. When I called and reserved a cabin, the woman on the phone said they would leave a map on the door of the store, and would tape our key to the cabin door.

Bob got out and studied the map, then we drove over to the cabin. As we passed a picnic area, we saw three deer standing as still as statues. Such a lovely welcome! Our room was small, but fine. We never sleep very well away from home, but since we got in so late, we intended to sleep in anyway, so it didn't really matter. I woke up in the middle of the night needing to go to the bathroom, and I had a very disorienting moment of not knowing where I was.

My first thought was that yeah, I was at Bennett Spring, then I changed my mind and thought surely I must be dreaming, that I was at home, then I realized my first thought was the right one. So funny. It was pitch dark. I couldn't see anything at all, it was like being in a cave when they turn out the lights.

I knew basically where the bathroom was--Bob woke up and said, "turn right, then turn right again," but I knew that I would probably run into something on the way. I was close to the dresser, so I opened a drawer and rummaged around in my purse until I found my flashlight, and was able to light my way to the bathroom. The next night, I left the flashlight next to the bed!

When slept in, then got up and went over to the dining lodge for a leisurely breakfast, then Bob put his waders on, and got his fishing equipment together, and I grabbed my bag and my folding chair.

We walked down to the stream, where Bob fished for a few hours, and I sat on the bank, and read. I was well supplied with all the things I needed--my tote bag with knitting and snacks, a hat ("Life is Good"), a bottle of iced tea, and a book:

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How to be happy

I really loved this Daily Om article: Be Happy Every Single Day

I have a friend who always comments that I seem to be able to find happiness in the smallest things. I'm not sure if it's something innate in me, or whether it's something I've cultivated over the years, but as I look back over my life, it seems to be something I've always been able to do.

Saturday was a miserable, rainy day, and I must have gotten in and out of the car a dozen times. And my knee was hurting, and all the climbing in and out of the car didn't help. But in the midst of the usual errands -- drive through the bank, stand in line at the post office, return the library books, buy groceries -- I found time to do a few things that truly make me happy: browsing through the bookstore, visiting the bead store, having a quiet lunch at Subway while reading my book. I spent, I think, $6 at the bookstore on a magazine, and I bought about $20 worth of beads and findings, but all in all, a fairly inexpensive day, but a fun one.

I don't always think of it as such, but I know that it is truly a blessing to be able to find happiness in the small things.

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Wings

Last night I met an angel.

He gave me wings.

And taught me to fly.

Okay, you don't need wings to fly (although he did give them to me, along with several other pairs to try out), and he didn't really teach me (you just have to push the "fly" button), but I thought it sounded poetic.

I was talking to one of the guys at work the other day about Second Life, and he said that he mostly plays a different game that's very similar, except it's set in, I think, medieval times. I don't remember the name . . . Anyway, he said, "But in Second Life, you can fly!"

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Play with pain

I mentioned awhile ago that I had somehow hurt my knee, eventually went to a doctor about it, and the doctor sent me to physical therapy. I went twice last week, but it hasn't seemed to be getting better. It will feel better for awhile, then start hurting again. I've been taking the anti-inflammatory that the doctor prescribed, and trying to do the exercises that the physical therapist gave me, but not very industriously.

When I made my appointments for this week, the therapist I'd been seeing was available on Monday morning, but I can't do Monday mornings because of our staff meeting, so I made the appointment for Tuesday. The therapist was off that day, so the receptionist, who was scheduling the appointment, asked me if it was okay if I saw someone else. I liked the woman that I was seeing, and didn't particularly want to see someone else, but I said sure.

So, I went this morning, and it was like night and day! Once I saw someone who actually seemed to know what they were doing, and explained to me what he thought had happened to my knee, and why, and how to fix it, it suddenly made a lot more sense.

And potentially a lot scarier.

I'd been sort of feeling like maybe I was being a sissy about it, that I should just "walk it off" or something, but he said that if I don't treat it aggressively now, I'm probably going to end up having surgery. Now, I say that, but I'm pretty sure that I would have to feel a LOT worse in order to have knee surgery, but I got the point.

The other therapist had told me that I should be icing it, but she never really said much, and I'd been icing it about once a day, if I remembered. The guy today said that I need to be icing it every three hours. He taped up my knee really tightly so that it moved my kneecap, kind of, but it enabled me to do the exercises with a normal range of motion without pain. He showed me some other exercises to do, and said I should get some ankle weights. He said I should probably really be on crutches, but I asked him if I could try his suggestions this week and see how I do, and he said that was fine.

When we were finished, I asked him if it would be okay if I stopped seeing the other therapist, and started seeing him, and he said that wouldn't be a problem, so when I made the appointments for next week, I asked for them with the new guy. I think I'll make a lot more progress that way.

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