A different breed

Bob got exactly one hour of sleep last night.

It was one of his late nights at the store. He worked 'til 10:30, which means he get home about 11:00, and he was going hunting with his brother this morning. So he got home at 11:00, ate a ham sandwich, laid out his clothes, set the coffee pot on automatic, and got his guns and things together. I made a lunch for them--bologna sandwiches, chips, and cookies--and packed it in a cooler, which he put by the back door.

By this time it was about 11:45, I guess. We went up to bed, and he set his alarm for 12:45. He had to get up, get dressed, fill the thermos, and drive to his brother's house, about a half hour away. Then they had to drive two hours to get to wherever they were hunting. I don't totally understand what they were doing, but they were getting the handicapped blind, and they had to be there at 4:00 a.m. or lose it, I think.

Frankly, I can't imagine doing that, but hunters are a different breed, I think. And I'm sure, even if he wasn't keen on going, he didn't want to disappoint Mark. I would hope that he slept in the car (he said that Mark was driving), but I doubt that he did. Hopefully he'll be able to get home before passing out.

We have a very generous time off policy at work. We get twenty days to use for sick leave, vacation, personal days--it's all available for whatever we need. I don't think I've ever used all of it, except the year I had surgery. I've got about a week and a half left this year. It's just hard to take it, or at least, it is for me.

When I worked in the corporate world, I'd take every last hour that I was due, and always knew exactly how much time I had left. There wasn't any question about taking it. But now, working for a small company, it's so much more personal. If I'm off, someone else has to pick up the slack (of course, it's that way in a big company, too, but it doesn't seem to matter as much somehow). I guess I feel more personally responsible for the work here, or something.

And we're busy, so it's difficult to just pick up and leave. But I'm taking next week off. I just finished a huge, stressful project, and I know I need a few days off. I doubt I'll be able to take that last week, but I can take three days.

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Inner Peace

I was fairly productive this weekend as far as crafting goes -- I sat down last night and watched The Bourne Identity, which I'd never seen, and knitted on my wallhanging. I've been toting that wallhanging around with me for months; I just need to do a little more on it, but the pattern is one that I can't really memorize, and the pattern repeat is twelve rows, so I can't just pick it up anywhere I happen to be and do a few rows without losing my place.

I'll take it to work with me tomorrow and hold it up against the wall--it's for the "art wall" at work. I think it will be kind of cool if I can ever finish it.

Bob came downstairs last night while I was watching television, saw what I was watching, and said, "Is that the first, second or third one?" I said I didn't know, since I hadn't seen any of them, but I thought it was the first. I looked at Blockbuster a couple of times to see if I could rent them, but was never able to find them. They're exactly the kind of movies I like, or one of the kinds I like, and I read all of the Bourne books back in high school. I was a big Robert Ludlum fan. I'm not sure I would have cast Matt Damon in the role--he seems a little young for it, to me--but I enjoyed the movie.

Funny how tastes change, or maybe it's because I have less time now, or possibly a shorter attention span. I used to read a lot of those big, complicated spy novels, but now my reading matter runs more to light mysteries. Right now I'm reading Accessory to Murder, a "Josie Marcus, Mystery Shopper," novel, and I'm listening to California Demon, "The Secret Life of a Demon Hunting Soccer Mom." For me, it's all about distraction and enjoyment, and both of those fit the bill right now.

Today I made a bunch more of my charms.

I made eight or nine, I think. This time I made them a little smaller/shorter than I usually do, but they're full of all kinds of semi-precious stones and silver. I tried to stick with a theme of a kind of dark, antiqued look, and I think I succeeded pretty well. They all look (to me, at least) like something you might find in an old trunk, or in a basket in an import shop, way in the back, where it had been forgotten. Treasures. Fanciful, maybe, but that was what I was thinking as I made them.

They're all named for the qualities of the stones -- "Calm and Protection," "Inner Peace," "Oneness with the Universe." I put them all up for sale at the shop, and wrote long descriptions of all the stones and symbols. I also finally sat down and collected all of the descriptions in one Word document so I have them close to hand. If anyone would like to have it, you can download it here (Word doc).

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Stocking up

It's the time of year when depression historically hits me; I've never really been able to escape it completely. I've been doing pretty well, but the past couple of weeks have been hard. There are things I need to do, but I can't seem to come up with much motivation, so things slide. But I'm trying. This week I've been making jewelry, and have a handful of new cellphone charms to post at my Etsy shop, as soon as I photograph them. I've already written descriptions and priced them, I just need to find some time to take photos to post.

Honestly, the actual creation of the jewelry is the least of it -- the most time-consuming part is taking photos, sorting them and choosing the good ones, cropping them, writing up descriptions of the pieces, pricing them, etc. It would be great if all I had to do was make the things, and I had a lackey or minion to do the paperwork . . .

Anyway, probably by the end of the week--or Saturday if I decide I need daylight--I should have some new stuff in the shop.

Yesterday Bob called me at work and said, "Are you at home?" I said, "No, it's just 6:00, I'm at work," and he said, "Oh, it was dark, so I figured you were at home." I love the fact that it's now almost light when I get up in the mornings, but the trade-off is that it gets dark so early, and it's full dark by the time I leave the office. I usually get home around 7:00, but most nights it feels like at least 9:00. I know I'll get used to it, but for the first few days at least, it's hard.

Update:
I took a bunch of photos this morning, processed them, and uploaded the new stuff (eight new cellphone charms) to the store. I'll probably do earrings this weekend. Stocking up for the Christmas rush. :)

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Quiet Halloween

I stopped at Mr. Goodcents and picked up sandwiches last night on the way home; I put Bob's away for him for when he got home at 11:00 or so, and I ate mine, emptied a bag of candy into a bowl, fed the cats, changed my clothes, and sat down to read for awhile. I started getting sleepy -- man, it's been a long week -- and decided that since we hardly ever get any trick-or-treaters anymore anyway, that I just wasn't going to worry about it.

Our porch light is on a motion sensor, so the house was dark, and would stay dark unless someone walked up to the door, so I figured I was safe. I pulled the blinds down and went up to bed at about 9:30. I was asleep in seconds, I think. Bob called at some point; I vaguely remember talking to him, but not in detail. I went back to sleep, and he came home and I woke up again, briefly, but went right back to sleep.

This morning when the alarm went off, I didn't want to get up, though. Bob said, you should have gotten enough sleep, you got, what? Twelve hours? And I said no, only ten! Sometimes no matter how much it is, it isn't enough.

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White light

Stress reached critical mass last night, I think. It had been a very stressful day at work, but I've always been able to handle it pretty well. But I don't know what else it could have been. I had meetings, and conference calls, and a really difficult project that I've been trying to get out the door, and everything was okay until about 5:00 which I stopped and realized that I felt AWFUL.

I always hold my stress in my stomach, and when I'm really stressed out it's like I need to stretch it out, like I'm feeling all hunched over. I would have laid on the couch, but there was a guy in the office for an interview, so I didn't think that would look too professional. I actually considered just lying on the floor in my office, but thought no, I'm just going to go home.

So I gathered up my stuff, told anyone who might need me that I'd had enough for the day, and I took off. Driving home, I felt so awful that I thought maybe I had food poisoning or something. I didn't feel nauseated, but my stomach hurt so bad that I couldn't imagine it was just stress.

I got home, crawled into bed, and slept for a couple of hours, felt better, got up, ate some rice, felt bad again, and went back to bed. Bob had been out, and called at about 10:30 and said he was coming home, was going to stop at McDonald's, and did I want anything?

I said no, but he brought me a chicken sandwich anyway (so sweet, isn't he?), and brought it up to me in the bedroom with a few of his fries. I sat up in bed and ate it (and shared it with Pyewacket), and felt quite a bit better, so I got up and got on the computer, and stayed up until about 1:00, then went back up to bed.

This morning I felt fine, just a little stressed out. I'm really not sure what I can do to handle it better. Bob said I need to remember to breathe, and I know that I need to do that. He was also giving me some kind of meditation thing where he said I needed to visualize a white light starting at the top of my head and continuing down through all my body parts, but I think he was just making that up.

I didn't really do much for Halloween except eat a lot of little candy bars. I did remember to put up my witch sign at work about halfway through October, and I went back in the storage room and found my little plastic pumpkin this morning. I also wore glow-in-the-dark skeleton earrings. Bob's working late tonight, and if we do get any trick-or-treaters, I'll be surprised. I'm expecting a quiet night.

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