Pye

Pyewacket died this morning at about 1:40 a.m. Bob had gotten up to check on her, and she died on his lap. If any death can be good, I think that was probably the best possible way for her to go. She was with the person she loved most in the world.

She was so much a part of this house that it's almost impossible for me to believe she's gone, especially when I see Bob in his recliner in the office watching television, or playing a game on the computer. It just seems wrong that she's not there with him. She was truly an exceptional cat, and her time here on earth was much too short.

She never met a stranger; she loved everyone, and everyone loved her. She could be a brat sometimes, but she was the sweetest, most loving cat I've ever known, and had the most personality. She'll be entertaining everyone in heaven, I'm sure.

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Update

No bad news so far, or at least no worse news. Just a quick update.

Pyewacket stopped eating three or four days ago, and stopped drinking water maybe a couple of days ago. Up until then Bob had been able to get her to drink a little by carrying her to the water dish and standing there with her. We don't want to keep her alive just for us, of course, but on the other hand, we don't want to be premature. She still has life in her, she'll still purr when Bob pets her (she won't purr when I pet her, but that's nothing new.)

The vet had suggested -- and had given me -- a large syringe that he said could be filled with soft cat food diluted with water and then squirted into her mouth. We just didn't want to do that, though -- Bob said he didn't want to force feed her like a goose. But I read some things on the web that said sometimes when a cat stops eating, just getting some food into them will jump-start them eating again.

It's about the end of the line for her, though, so I didn't know if it would make sense or even be kind to put her through it. Yesterday Bob called me and said he wanted to try giving her some water, at least, so last night he filled the syringe with water and got some into her, and also gave her some milk. She wasn't thrilled with it, but it wasn't too bad, except for the time when Bob squirted the milk right in my eye . . .

We did the same thing this morning, gave her some milk, and some water, then put her up on the table in front of the window next to me while I was working on the laptop. After Bob left for work, she sat there in the window a little while, then suddenly got up and jumped down before I could stop her. She staggered, then started walking away, and I got up to follow her to see where she was going, and to stop her if she headed to the basement.

She walked over to Dinah's "food station" (they each have their own, Dinah's in the dining room and Pye's in the kitchen), and went to the water dish. It was too tall for her to get her head over, though, and she just laid down beside it. I went in and got a shorter dish and filled it with water and sat it down beside her, and she drank. She isn't very efficient -- she's mostly just sticking her tongue in the water rather than truly lapping, but it's a good sign. She drank quite a bit, then rested her head on the side of the bowl. I put a little catfood on a plate, thinking maybe I could get her to eat it, but she wasn't interested.

I picked her up and took her back upstairs, took the water, and made her a little plate of food -- some catfood, some tuna, and a little bit of salmon -- hard to say, but maybe if she's drinking again, she'll eat a little bit. Every night I've been holding her for awhile; last night Bob had brought her down to me and then he left and went back upstairs. I didn't have anything close to hand, no books or my phone or anything, and I didn't want to disturb her by moving around, but I could reach my little iPod Shuffle, so I put on some earphones and turned it on and sat there with her and fell asleep. I hope she gets some comfort from it; I certainly do.

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Tweet

When I first heard about Twitter, I thought it was kind of stupid -- who needs to update what they're doing or where they are every few minutes, and who would care?

Then yesterday I was reading Misty's blog and noticed Twitter in the sidebar where she said that she didn't have time to make a blog post (she had a baby a couple of weeks ago, after all), but she was posting to Twitter from her cell phone. And I thought, okay, that would be a perfect application for Pyewacket updates -- I know a lot of people are anxious to know how she's doing, but don't want to write and ask.

So I've got kitty updates in my Twitter -- the link is in the lefthand column, if you want to follow along.

She's hanging in there. We have her confined to Bob's office now, so she doesn't try to go downstairs, and so that Dinah doesn't bug her. She's pretty much stopped eating now; Bob said last night he got her to lick a little butter off his finger, and she lapped up some of the liquid from a can of tuna. She's still drinking water, though, and he carries her to the water dish several times a day. He's also washing her with a warm washcloth. She seems to like that.

This morning when I came back upstairs to get ready for work I brought her a little buffet plate with a little bit of cooked chicken, some deli roast beef, and a little bit of tuna, and I also brought the milk from the bottom of my cereal bowl. But I couldn't find her. She wasn't on the nest (a pile of his clothes) that Bob had made for her, and she wasn't under the recliner. I was calling for her softly when Bob called from the bedroom, "She's in here."

He had gotten up and brought her back to bed with him. He said I could take her back in the office and see if she'd eat, but I said no, let her stay with you. H e doesn't go in to work until 2:00 today, so he'll be there until early afternoon, and it won't be long before I get home.

I woke up in the middle of the night Tuesday night not feeling well, and still didn't feel right when I woke up on Wednesday morning, so I ended up staying home and working for about half a day. I don't know if I was really sick or if it was the stress catching up with me. I felt fine yesterday and today, but it's still a struggle.

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Very hard

Well, Pyewacket's still with us, but probably not for long. It's just so incredibly sad. I'm having a hard time imagining a world without Pyewacket in it. I know that's silly, but she just has such a strong personality, and is so loved by everyone who knows her.

She's just barely eating now; I bought some deli roast beef today, and she ate a little bit of that. Bob will carry her in to her water dish and she'll usually drink a little bit. Last night John and Leslie were over for dinner and we had Chinese food, and Pye ate a few grains of fried rice. Today, I had the leftover rice for lunch, and I put a spoonful on a paper plate and took it upstairs and left it on the floor in front of Bob's recliner; she's spending most of her time under it now. It felt a bit like leaving an offering at the mouth of a cave for a deity . . .

The roast beef got her to come out from under the chair, so I picked her up and brought her downstairs and put her on the table in front of the window. Bob said, "She's getting like Doña was -- you take her somewhere and put her down, and she stays." But a few minutes ago she got up and trotted off to the basement. I got up and followed her to be sure she wasn't going to go hide somewhere down there, but she was going to the litter box. A good kitty to the end.

Bob's been taking her outside for a few minutes each evening, and that seems to perk her up a little. We sat out there with her for a little while last night, and reminisced about how John found her sitting on his stoop in the rain, a poor pitiful little wet thing, and how all he had to feed her was hot dogs, and how she was grateful to get them.

And how we drove out late the night of my birthday and picked her up, and drove home with her on my lap, and she was so sick. But we took care of her, and got her well, and loved her and gave her a great life. We've gotten so much from her, but of course she's gotten a lot from us also. She's just tired now, and getting ready to leave us. I'm finding that really hard.

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News

I've been putting off writing this, but I know everyone is wondering how Pye is, and hoping for the best. We were, too, but it wasn't a surprise, really, when the vet called and said that she does have cancer.

The tests were done on Saturday, and he said we might have results on Monday; he didn't call on Monday, and he didn't call on Tuesday, so on Wednesday I called and left a message, and he called very late that afternoon. I think he didn't want to make the call, either. He said he wished he had better news, that she was very sweet, and I said yes, she is.

He said the tests showed that she has cancer, but not what kind. It's probably lymphoma, going by the swollen lymph nodes, but it could also be another kind of carcinoma (histiocytic, I think he said). It doesn't really matter, I guess. I asked if there was anything we could do, and he said that they could do chemotherapy, but it's expensive, and would probably only gain her a couple of months. I said we'd talked about it, and didn't really want to put her through that; he said it wasn't as hard on them as it is on humans, because the goal is different--they aren't really trying to get rid of the cancer, so the dose is smaller. They're just trying to prolong life for a little while.

But we don't see much point in putting her through anything even mildly unpleasant if it's only going to extend her life a month or two. That doesn't really seem right.

So he said to continue giving her the prednisone, that it could help shrink the tumor, and would make her feel better. It does seem to have helped. She has a little more energy, I think, and has some appetite back. She isn't eating like she was before, of course, but she isn't turning her nose up at everything.

We've been buying special things for her, trying to tempt her to eat. I bought "gourmet" cat food today; she also likes canned chicken and tuna, and deli ham. She wasn't crazy about the babyfood I tried -- I think it was too bland. She likes some soft chicken-and-cheese treats that I got the other day, too. I figure we'll just spoil her rotten for whatever time we have, that's the least we can do.

We're doing okay. I've cried about it; it just seems so unfair. But it's a part of life, I just need to remember that. But it's hard.

I got another cortisone shot in my hand on Tuesday. The doctor thought it was worth another try before doing surgery. I think it might have helped this time, but it's hard to tell yet. It was better, then yesterday it was clicking again, and it still is today, but I think maybe less. I have to wait a month before doing anything anyway, so I'll just take it as it comes.

I don't think I ever showed this picture of my one and only moonflower this year:

My mom gave me a tiny plant when I was out there last, and I've been a bad gardener and never did plant it. It's still in the pot she gave it to me in. But I've been watering it, and Bob waters it when I forget, and the other night I saw that it was going to flower. You only get one chance, and it blooms at night. If you miss it, that's it, the flower doesn't open again, it just wilts and dies. So I kept watching, and saw it bloom. Made me happy.

What else . . . Oh! I bought an iPhone last night. I'd been wanting one, but couldn't justify the expense, then my boss said I needed it for work, and the company would reimburse me, so I bought one. I thought I was going to have to pay the premium price -- it wasn't time for me to get a discounted upgrade, so I was going to have to pay an extra $200, but for some reason when the total came up it was the regular price.

The guy at the store was surprised, too, but he said let's not ask any questions, and I signed for it, and it went through at the lower price. I messed around with it all last evening, downloading free applications and figuring it all out. There's a free eReader application, so I can read all my ebooks on it; I need to get some checkbook software, that's probably the most important thing I need, and I'd like to have a medical records application. With those two things I will have replaced most of the important stuff from the Palm, and just have one device--phone, iPod and organizer.

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